Change

 

Change.... it's inevitable right! Then why is it so hard to do? I'm sitting here thinking about how I am actually going to complete these 12 weeks without falling off the wagon. It is a very daunting process to commit to not only yourself but your family, friends and MICHELLE BRIDGES! My problem is, is that I go full throttle at the beginning and then I seem to loosen the reigns a bit come week 3 or 4. My weight doesn't come off as quick as I would like to and suddenly that block of chocolate is looking pretty good....

This time I am setting myself up for success, I am doing all of the pre-season tasks, having a positive outlook on my journey and really giving it 100% (not just bullshitting that I will). I want to have a tight toned body that I can be proud of. This is the perfect round for me to do. After being sick for over 4 months and having an operation where I am told I can't lift anything for 6 weeks, this round fits in perfectly. I am not going to lie, it feels as though everything has been falling apart from not being able to go to the gym. I miss wearing my lorna jane workout clothes and feeling that sense of accomplishment when I burn 500 calories. It is hard to have such a burning desire to go to the gym and not be able to go.

 I think I have relied too much on other people to achieve success, this is my journey and I am nobody elses responsibility. I need to learn to say no and realise the power behind it;
- NO to sitting on the couch and watching tv because it is too cold outside
- NO to eating too much of foods that are supposed to be treats
- NO to passing the blame onto someone/something else as to why I did not lose weight this week

Losing weight is change but it is also like Michelle Bridges is holding a huge mirror up in front of you to show you not only who you are, but how you are responsible for the decisions you make and every decision turns you into the person you are. So if I look into the mirror right now I see someone who is determined, optimistic yet scared at the same time. My challenge is not just about losing weight, it is about finding myself again and learning to love myself again.

I've come a long way!

So I logged onto the 12wbt this morning to not only familiarise myself with the program again but to see who my budding 12wbters are! It is so amazing to see all the people posting on the forums about their goals and ambitions for this round and I sit here remembering that I was apart of the first ever 12 Week Body Transformation, where the crowd was so small that our party fit into one small location. Now I am apart of something big and powerful that is on the tv, in magazines and is recognised internationally. Michelle Bridges is changing lives.... we are all changing our lives. It seems we are now taking a stand and realising that we do want to be the best possible version of ourselves. No longer does the following picture apply to any of us! (Sorry it is a bit blury)

Failure to Success

Well I don't want to say that the last round I did of the 12wbt was a failure, it was however, not as successful as I had hoped for. I mean just by looking at this blog you can see how much I neglected it and there are a few reasons to that. It was very early on in the round that I started having issues with my body, I already had issues with my body in regards to wanting to change it but these issues were medical. It all started when I came home from work doubled over in pain crying to my partner. I had severe pain in my stomach and my doctor wanted tests done straight away because she thought I may have cysts on my ovaries....

After the test results came back everything was clear but I was still in pain. My nutrition went out the window, I wasn't exercising because I was in so much pain. I then started to get a sharp stabbing pain in my shoulder blades and in my upper body. I went back to a different doctor this time who said to me "I think you may have gallstones." Now I knew nothing about gallstones but a quick jump on google 20mins later made me realise I REALLY did NOT want these things!!! I went for tests which confirmed that I had a 11mm gallstone in my gallbladder. Now I am only 24 years old, I have lost a significant amount of weight and they say that gallstones ususally affects woman who are over 40, have fair skin and who are overweight. Then I found out why i have gallstones, it was hereditary, my nanna had it, my cousin had it. I actually have too much calcium in my blood.

I had to be booked in for surgery, my whole gallbladder was to be removed because of the high calcium in my blood I would just keep reproducing the stones. The surgery is common but still I was worried as hell. I had to stick to a low fat diet, because any fat makes the gallbladder inflamed and causes an immense amount of pain. I actually ended up losing weight and this is why I say round 1 was not a complete failure. I just didn't feel 100% successful because I was unable to exercise. I had to wait 3 months until I could get the gallstone removed. My partner and I had an in joke and called my gallstone Gary which actually caught on with my family and colleagues as well. Gary was a pain in the bum! The pain, nausea etc... well I wouldn't wish it upon anyone!

Nearly 5 months in total, from the time i first noticed the pain. It is amazing I have held it together. It is so hard not being able to go to the gym when all i wanted to do was run!

A week ago, Gary was removed! He had some friends in there with him. He grew from 11mm to 15mm, no wonder I was in so much pain! I am on the road to recovery but am unable to lift anything heavy for 6 weeks!! I am hoping I will be ready to go by the time the 3rd round starts.

I have joined this round to keep me on track, because lets face it after 5 months of not working out I need someone to give me a kick up the bum. I dont think I am going to need that though, being sick for so long really makes you appreciate things a lot more, and I sure do appreciate being fit and healthy.